Covid19 a Back in the days tale before the actual situation
Due to the covid19 mixed with others reasons I've lost my unstable job, at the moment I am still unemployed, officially I've lost my job on mid march, on a hand I am still lucky to have my mother alive as he has her own place where I'm actually living on the other it's a shame to get a job especially now for all reasons you can imagine I used to live and work in U.K. for a very long time gigging around trendy rock n roll clubs of London with my band of that time, named Cars Like Sharks, of course I wasn't just playing my music I mean professionally living 'cause of it however it was a good situation as I had a stable job too. I moved to London on the summer of 2007 because of a relationship I had at that time with a English woman, once the relationship was over I remained in U.K. working and trying to find out a good musical project to join, it took times but in the end I have had a bit of luck catching up with the right guys. London is the ideal place for a musician in Europe especially rock n'roll musicians, USA is too far, there are a lot of clubs and it's easy to catch up with other people, my luck was that I didn't joined a band made up of others European migrants expat whatever, I was the only one in a band of Brits, Irish and South African people still quite internationally indeed. After a long year of rehearse we finally recorded our first album (carslikesharks.bandcamp.com), to be honest we did it just two the of us, me and the guitarist singer who also played the bass guitar, with a low budget we did a great work. That piece of recording wasn't the first one, as a four member band we had previously recorded a short E.P. but then some of those members have gone away so at last we decided anyway it was time to go on with the recording of our first album, after a while we finally met the right guy we were awaiting for, a good left hand bass guitar player Paul, so as a three members band we started to rock around the town on the most known venue of London, barfly,Hope and Anchor, the garage, intrepid fox, the big red and many more mainly on north of London area. On 2013 due to a couple of sad events things have drastically changed, despite we had worked hard on a new material and were ready to make a second l.p. on December 2013 less than a couple of week before xmans my father passed away, I can't forget that day it was on Sunday around 5.00 pm I was arrived at my working place, a residential care home for people with psychiatric issues or under protection act. ready for a night shift, I was having an hand over chat with the manager while suddenly my phone started to sound, from the screen I knew it was my sister calling, initially I've ignored the thing just to do not appear less serious in front of my manager but then had to answer even because my sister was insisting. With tears and an emotional loud voice she told me my father had an heart attack and was taken to the hospital, she was so desperate that my manager who doesn't understand a single word of Italian soon understood that the situation was badly serious, so he told me to return at home and organize a flight to Italy. I can't forget the state of shock that invaded my body and my mind I was so disturbed by it that I've messed up a lot on booking a flight to Italy of course had to cancel all the rest, rehearse, shifts at work etc.etc. then I had to inform everyone close to me of my imminent departure. Once arrived in my homeland I went home then finally the paramedics allowed me to see my father, he was not conscious in the bed kept alive by a thousand tubes, I've held his hand and was speaking to him, for a while I had the impression he was listening to me, he was aware of my being there beside him, as because of a nervous reflex his hand for a moment squeezed mine slightly and that gave me the impression/illusion he was aware of having me and all the family there to support him.
In fact the doctors only delayed my father's death and did this to allow me to see him one last time, I went to visit him all the time I can had the permission, I used to sit beside holding his hand speaking to him, before of the heart attack we had organized his coming to London to visit me, I've dreamed of the two of us having some beer around maybe even getting drunk as two close friends, after a long time I was looking for my own place and I wanted him beside me to support me, he was in pension but when was working, for Fiat car industry, he has visited the world England included so he knew a few of U.K. it would have been nice to maybe see him in the audience during one of my concerts, especially after so many years of relationship difficulties between us, my father never approved the fact that I was a musician we really have had hard times because of it, because of my nature so he never saw me playing drums alive, I have suffered a lot because of it as in my heart I wanted him to be proud of me, the lord had different plans and called for him some weeks before his arrival to U.K. After three days the doctors communicate us that they would have stopped those machine that kept him alive, they told us it was very hard for him to survive and even if he would he would have been so badly affected by the heart attack that we would have to deal with a different suffering man, a painful situation to deal with. When I've heard of that final decision I have gone mad like a volcano long left under a lid I exploded in tears of despairs shouting 'dad wake up dad they want to stop these machines you have to wake up' unknowingly I took his hand and raised it to pull a last to slap on my face again, and there I've noticed a facial expression of him being disturbed by that, his face indeed never appear to be of a suffering man, he looked as in peace with the world as his soul had reached nirvana.After few hours he passed away and the expression of his face was of someone who was already in heaven, despite can't stop crying I knew my dad was with the Lord and finally met his beloved parents passed away long time ago when he was just an 8 years old kid. Immediately after his death the doctor asked us for permission for organ harvesting we all agreed as we knew he was of the same idea, so somewhere in Italy there is someone a male or a female who can see thanks to the corneas of my father,a good man not perfect of course and who it is then. The rock n roll experience changed on my return to London I was a different person, so that year after the 15th of August when my ex friend got married then he disappear without telling me anything cutting bridges drastically, I've tried a thousand of times to get in touch with him but he never replied so till today I don't know why he didn't had the will to tell me that he changed his mind, from others friends I knew he retired off London just to make his own family putting the guitar on a wall. I'm writing this because this morning I was thinking about him and still I am doing now, I do believe he is watching me from the other world where real life begins, I also believe that any time I think of him as of anybody who is no longer in this world there's a connection that automatically start and keep us somehow in touch, this morning I awoke early as at 10.30 had my boxing private session while having breakfast I was listening to Giuseppe Verdi Music one of my father favorite composer, he bought all his albums having the complete collection of its music all in vinyl so while listening to 'Va il Pensiero' In my mind I was asking what would have thought about this pandemic situation and in particular of the political situation too, he used to be very active politically for the local community and from his example I've learned a lot of things, my father was a socialist since ever, till the time that socialist have even ruled Italy leading it to become the European economy with the highest economic growth rate. From my father experience I've learnt that politics has to be done by the low to help everyday people in order to improve the quality of life of the community, when I watch around today I don't see the same thing and the global decay of the West is a clear demonstration of this miserable people working as politicians just to make money, the EU as nothing to do with what probably he has dreamed it would have to become, I am pretty sure if my Father were alive he would have been on my side against this globalist world against this EU model, because I do believe is not the only possible one and in particular because it has being built from above from a bunch of financial lobbies ruthless moneylenders in the total contempt for democracy and the constitutional rights of the Italian people, my home land the land of my father of my grandpa and grandma for which my ancestors fought to make it free from foreign forces isn't free anymore and that's the reason why I do support ItalExit political idea, they might call me a fascist or a racist I don't give a shit I am a Nationalist Socialist and I know its the salvation for the future of the native people of this country and of all the native people of continental Europe too. Even if not playing physically my instrument within a rock n roll band I'm still making music, an electronic project of my own 'Taurinorum' and I will publish sooner or later my EDM first E.P.